Smoke Eaters, a joint formally known as University Chicken, in downtown San Jose close to SJSU, serves premier chicken wings and other tasty snacks. My good friend Mark and I like to make an appearance once a week or so and devour a few of these juicy pieces of white poultry. The tenders seem to grab our fancy because well lets face it, chicken wings have bones and not a lot of meat, and were lazy carnivores.
In the past, University Chicken was just a place to grab beer for me. I never even looked at their menu. One day Mark takes me to eat lunch there. He tells me they have like 7 different levels of spiciness. I'm pretty excited because if anyone knows me I love spicy food. Adore it really. I find it addicting and the heat keeps me coming back for more. But most people don't believe me when I say I love spicy food. Why would a white girl love spicy food? Or wait let me rephrase that... How can a white girl handle spicy food? Let me take you back to the years of Bonfante Gardens....
The lost years as I like to call them, Bonfante Gardens was a job I sadly held for about 4 years (the only good thing that I got out of there was Sarah and Emily). Most people who live in Gilroy have probably worked there at one time or another. I was a foods supervisor in Villa Pasta before I decided to go to bigger and better things. And in that festering hot kitchen of boiling pasta and burning pizza, I was introduced to Tabasco sauce. With this little vinegary heaven I started my long journey to spicy obsession. Tabasco led to red pepper flakes, jalapenos, habanero peppers, chili peppers, suracha sauce (spelling error I know. Apologies. The asian language isn't as phonetic as I'd like it to be and a bottle is not in front of me to check) and this list goes on. I have found the spiciest food I have consumed to date is Thai food. I have yet to find a partner in crime to go eat with me, except my step mother, but she sadly resides in Sacramento. A little too far to go for lunch or dinner. But yes, Tabasco was my gateway sauce to the world of burning bliss. (Side note- in Jr. High and High School I couldn't even handle Hot Cheetos, they made me sweat like a pig and cry like a baby).
Inferno is the premier hot sauce within all the selections. Apparently the sauce has even caused people to toss their lunch. (I can believe this because my brother attempted to eat some mexican chili when we were younger from a dare and puked all over out neighbors kitchen). What the hell though, I'm not afraid of a hot sauce. I have a love affair with hot for pete's sake. As I ordered my meal the man asked me what sauce I would like. I said Inferno. And he looked up slowly at me, his eyebrows slowly closing into each other, his face obviously questioning my choice. Thanks to learning poker, reading faces is easy. Especially faces that obviously think your crazy or fibbing. Before I could say anything he asked the question:
"Uh, you like spicy food?"
"Yea dude, I know I'm a white girl and apparently we don't like heat, but I do."
"You ever had it before?"
"Nope. I'm about to attempt."
"Ok. Just tell me if you don't like it and ill get you a different sauce."
"Ha, thanks man, but ill be fine."
And as I paid, his face did not change. Didn't your momma ever teach you it's not good to be a worry wort! It will give you pimples. Duh.
The chicken came. The sauce a deep red. I dipped the juicy chicken in the sauce and took a bite. As Mark watched. I just kept eating. As if nothing phased me. With the occasional slurp of soda and bite of fries, I was content, comfortable, not sweating, and not tossing my marbles. Mark on the other hand was sweating rivers from the 4 alarm sauce. Portuguese can't hang (kidding Mark).
Let this be a lesson learned that white girls can take heat. I'm still looking to find someone who can even attempt to eat spicier food than me. Come on. Who want's to make a bet? Spice up your life.
