A Glimpse of My Thirties

A customer came into Trader Joe's the other day. She was an adorable little brunette woman. Her personality was bubbly and fun, and she's typically one of the customers we all cross are fingers for. It's like a breathe of fresh air to help someone who's kind and actually has a personality.

As she was standing there babbling on about something she told me she, "Ate shit outside." Then of course she quickly said, "Oh shit I can't say shit, I mean crap." Anyway she cringed a moment and went on with her story. She of course fell into a huge puddle and half her body was soaked. It didn't help that she was wearing stiletto boots. But I didn't mention that part.

Then I told her how she was a woman after my own heart. That I had just previously had quite the escapades myself. At Sarah's birthday celebration I fell three separate times. The first night I was completely wasted. And it was the worst kind of wasted because I didn't even want to be drunk but because I don't drink hard alcohol much, it snuck up on me. I was ok all the way home and up the stairs. But apparently the top step succeeded in beating me. I really don't recall much of it, however the bruises made me inquire the next morning. Good thing only one person saw the tumble.

The second time however was the worst. I mean just the utter definition of my clumsiness. We were walking across town to go to a bar for Sarah's actual birthday and as we were crossing the street there was a really cute boy waving and smiling from his car who was waiting at the light. Now I had no liquor in me, I was hyper and ready to go, feeling sexy, on my way to celebrate and as I was smiling I turned my head: bam. I was down. There I was in the cross walk right before the curve, on my knees. I don't even know what possessed me to fall. I got up, after hearing "OHHHH," coming from the cars. And just stood straight against a wall. I mean really, even I was stunned. I looked down at my skinned knees and was just dumbfounded. Falling sober. Pathetic.

The last time was after the bar while we were standing outside waiting for taxis. Not only were we standing with a huge group of people, I was talking to some Irish folk that I was drunkenly enamored with. And I was going to go follow them, tripped on uneven pavement. This time I was down and stayed down. After falling three times to cement, I was just utterly defeated. Not only was I bruised and in pain, but I had a river of blood squirming down my leg.

So you see I stood there and told this customer about my clumsy self and that I was probably the best person to sympathize with. It is second nature for me. I may look normal from the outside but underneath my clothes is a plethora of bumps and bruises. And here she laughed and said that I had an interesting life ahead of me because I was her at that age. Apparently I'm not growing out of this one.

p.s. I have an endless list of falling stories. If you must inquire for a good chuckle, please do so. The Sharks game fall was probably the most infamous. Yes, you can only imagine what that entails.