Breaks Over

You know life is funny. Here I was blogging for whatever reason, I can't even remember, and some of the biggest steps of my little adult life happened and none of it was lovingly written down on this inappropriately titled blog. 

For the first time, I left the nest. I guess you can say I literally threw myself into a world that I physiologically was ready for but maybe not realistically. Turns out moving out was definitely an eye opener in many ways. Although I have been emotionally independent for more than half my little existence, I can now safely say I also financially rely on myself. 

I started at a new Trader Joe's. Surrounding myself with different people, different problems, in a very different town (Los Gatos, a place where everyones rich and even Grandmas are ridiculously hot, whether natural or paid for). 

I live with a person that is not a part of my close or extended family. A topic all in its own. Something I am still trying to understand. With pluses and minuses, it is one of the biggest learning experiences. 

I started my new major. The first semester since high school or even before, when I was so ridiculously driven and excited about learning, that you can find me studying before I go out, before work, after work, before bed, getting up early before class and everywhere in between. 

I moved 30 minutes away from the life I use to live. I am more independent than I have ever been. And I am also the most alone I have ever been. Although most of the time I find freedom in going places alone, doing things on my own time, even going to the movies alone, I find myself feeling older than I should. The relationships in my life has drastically changed. Even 30 minutes away, it's interesting to see how disposable you are to some and how appreciated you are by others. 

The biggest truth I have also learned: you really do need to just depend on yourself, emotionally and physically. At the end of the day most are selfish and most will not think twice of where you are and where you are going. But if you can lean on yourself and be ok with yourself, the days won't seem blank, the relationships you do have are more appreciated, and the goals you set in your life are for you and not everyone else.

I love new things and change. But for the longest time I was afraid to leave the comfort of what I knew because of being forgotten, not fitting in, or worst not succeeding. But what I realized is when you thrust yourself into a place, you will learn to adapt, and you will learn to succeed. 

In 2010, I will be going on my biggest adventure yet, a study abroad to Europe. I'm not afraid anymore. I am only anticipating the things I will learn, the people I will meet, the cultures I will explore, and the stories I will make for my own.