A Bloody Episode

Not only has Trader Joe's housed some of the funniest, awkwardest, and stupidest encounters of my time, it has also showed me some of the most foul and grotesque things my little eyeballs have seen.

Case in point: yesterday on register.

It really was just another old couple, getting their 2 buck chuck, because you see old people love their cheap tasteless 2 buck chuck. The old man was quite enthusiastic and charming. His wife just standing and smiling as if she was in the perfect little world.

And as I made polite conversation, not really thinking about much, I look down upon my register where I was checking items and saw blood everywhere.

No I am not kidding. I am not fabricating. There was blood on everything. The bottles of wine, the bread, the beer, the register, and sadly all over my hands. It was really like an episode from a horror movie. At first I thought oh my gosh I must be bleeding (it's not the first time that I have cut myself and not noticed). However, there was so much blood that I thought it had to have been a Halloween prank or something. When I say a lot of blood I mean drippings and thick blood on everything. And I stood there trying to stay calm and not jump to conclusion. I called my coworker over that was closest to me and she automatically grabbed sanitary wipes and helped me clean and wipe everything down.

And there I stood preaching to the old folks how sorry I was that some kid decided to put blood all over things. It is the season.

Something peculiar was going on though. The old couple was not disgusted or shocked or anything of that matter. They didn't want new product or speak to a manager, nothing.

As I was handing their bags to them, my jaw dropped. This old man was profusely spouting blood out of his hand. I said sir are you ok the blood is coming from you. And he nonchalantly says I bleed all the time. And then he proceeded to grab his things and leave.

There I stood, mystified, and covered in old man's blood, and all he had to say was it happens all the time.

Welcome to my awkward life.

The Other Toilet Paper Trail

Trader Joe's customers and employees have given me some of the best laughs of my short lived life.

Yesterday, however, I was stumped.

It was about 9:45 in the evening. The store was already closed and we were all doing are usually cleaning and stocking. As I was walking to the salsa I noticed one of my coworkers... who shall not be named... in a... uhh... well, very peculiar state.

Now I don't get embarrassed easy. I'm not afraid to tell people they have stuff in their teeth or toilet paper hanging off their shoe. Actually, I have even saved a customer from social awkwardness by casually stepping on his long line of toilet paper trail before even letting him know the hysterical situation.

But yesterday was different.

Yesterday, he who shall not be named, didn't have toilet paper from his shoes or green junk in his pearly whites, but he had part of his toilet seat cover hanging out of the back of his pants.

I will let the imagination take reign. I however did not have the courage to say anything. Instead, out of embarrassment for him, and a mighty mighty roar of laughter, I snickered away and told one of my managers. Who took a peak first off, grabbed someone else to share the grand news with, before actually doing the deed.

Now you ask if this was a prank?

Oh no no. He was done for. Quiet and to himself the rest of the night. And the best part is, he doesn't even know that it all went down hill from me.

MWAHAHAHAHA.

Cloud of Smoke

Yesterday, I drove to Sacramento and I spent the night with my dad. 

I sat there listening to him talk about things, his life, why certain choices were made. I was definitely getting a better understanding of where he was coming from and answers to why his road led to divorce. 

I sat there trying to be as supportive as possible. It's hard to hear your dad talk about things with such sadness. To hear him being so unaware of what the future holds was scary to hear. So stressed and tired, that I have never seen him more skinny in my life. 

It's hard to make decisions that change your life so drastically, throwing you into the unknown. But do you settle with ok or do you take a chance on great? 

Of course of all places we choose to eat dinner, one of Debra's best friends is there. And I went over to say hi and be respectful because I thought that was the nice thing to do. But sometimes divorcing family means divorcing friends. And I stood listening to this woman bash and put down my father in front of her dinner guests. I respectfully listened and walked away the first chance I had. I went inside and sat in my seat and casually made my 8 dollar glass of wine disappear. I couldn't believe she had the nerve to do that. 

I wish I could go back in time and say something to her. I wish I would have stood up for him and said it takes two to make a marriage go wrong, even if choices my dad has made accelerated it. I wish I could have said how dare you talk to me about my father. He is an amazing man who has come to a cross road in his life and he had to make a decision. A decision that has nothing to do with you and your one sided opinions. But I didn't and it was probably better this way. 

Divorce is hard. It's the second divorce my family has endeared. And let me tell you, being older makes it harder. You understand more and you definitely analyze more. I love Debra very much. And I hope that sometime in the future we can still have a relationship, in person, face to face. 

I will not say anyones actions were right, or one is better than the other, or if this was done better the outcome would be brighter. It is not my job to say whose at fault, or who didn't try hard enough, or who I feel sorry for, or who I am angry at. It takes two. I'm sad because something that was so close to me was lost. I'm hurt because my dad and Debra both hurt in their own ways. But he is my dad, and I will support him through anything and everything. 

And after dinner, we sat right back outside. I sat right back into the endless cloud of smoke, and I listened. Because sometimes the best thing to do is just listen. 

Dinner For One

Today was a regular day really. First it was massive stress over a presentation, beginning at about 6am, that was executed perfectly. Then it was a long break, sitting, texting, eating the same salad, pondering about anything and everything. Followed by a class with a teacher that is so passionate about her job it almost scares me and a classmate who boggles my mind. Then the quick yet tedious light rail ride home.

As I was driving home I decided to do date night, with myself. I don't have many friends that really have time or the want to sit and have dinner or just chit chat on a couch (not that I ever have time but thursday nights are my day of freedom). So I decided to do what I would do with friends by myself. I headed over to blockbuster, spent a good fifteen minutes debating between four movies that could be masterpieces or a complete waste of time. I chose the Donnie Darko sequel S. Darko(probably massive waste of time but the actors are so hot I thought at least I would have something pretty to look at) and then I chose Pheobe In Wonderland (probably a sweet movie that will make me cry and miss the years of being innocent and having no cares).

Then it was off to Safeway. The dinner was unplanned but I knew that something other than chicken was going to be the highlight of this magnificent solo dinner. As I looked through the meat section all I could actually think of was the pamphlet some hippie looking guy shoved in my face on campus about animal cruelty. It said if you can't give up meat then at least don't eat pigs, birds, or eggs. So due to this pamphlet statement I reached for a nice piece of London Broil steak. Yes, I know, another cruelty or political statement with that one, but today I wanted to be a carnivore and eat a piece of red meat. A piece of red meat that I seared for a few minutes, drenched in garlic and red wine, and then broiled it, topping it off with mushrooms. Next to it I decided to do make white pepper and garlic cream mashed potatoes. Although veggies are usually my favorite thing, I was incredibly lazy by the time I got to mashing potatoes, so a glass of red wine was to substitute.

As I sat and ate my delectable meal, throwing ping pong balls at Billie, because her new obsession is ping pong balls, and let me tell you she really can't get away from those things; I pondered again. I do it a lot. Usually think about all the things I'm doing wrong, but sometimes good things. I'm critical on myself if anyone hasn't caught on.

First, I kept thinking about my. German exam tomorrow. Tonight I wanted to spend my time studying for it, and at this moment all I have to show for is counting from 1-12 and memorizing as long as the verb is in section position ill be fine. I didn't even touch the book. A book I spend so much time with that the moment I should really bond with it, I grab the bottle of wine instead.

Second, I pondered where I was going. And I really mean this metaphorically. I know, really heavy dinner thinking. Do you ever just feel like something's missing? I work my butt off, pay all my bills, do all my homework, nice to my parents, love my friends, probably more than I should, and adore my bubs more than most humans I know. Yet, I feel like something's missing. I don't know yet what. And don't say it's a guy. The last thing I need. I can barely keep up with myself, let alone keeping up with love. A word I have never even uttered to the other species. Who knows though, maybe whatever that something is will someday bump into me.

And the real work up to this blog, the paragraphs above really being avoidance, is something I have signed up for, well more like qualified for and accepted. Stanford is doing a research study. Yea, most of you scholarly people or students know what I am talking about. Studying people for some reason. I'm not ready to tell people what it's for. But what I want to say, is that if this study helps girls like me, at my age, be happier, and be comfortable with themselves, and help understand themselves better, then it's well worth it. It's a lot of time, and not a lot of compensation. But I feel like it's a good thing. And I think we could all do a little good these days with whatever we can.

Now as I reach for my wine, and watch one of my movies, play with really the best friend a person could have, my bubs, and probably cry my buzzed eyes out, I'm not going to think about how my German exam that is in fourteen and a half hours. Totally overrated.