Not only has Trader Joe's housed some of the funniest, awkwardest, and stupidest encounters of my time, it has also showed me some of the most foul and grotesque things my little eyeballs have seen.
Case in point: yesterday on register.
It really was just another old couple, getting their 2 buck chuck, because you see old people love their cheap tasteless 2 buck chuck. The old man was quite enthusiastic and charming. His wife just standing and smiling as if she was in the perfect little world.
And as I made polite conversation, not really thinking about much, I look down upon my register where I was checking items and saw blood everywhere.
No I am not kidding. I am not fabricating. There was blood on everything. The bottles of wine, the bread, the beer, the register, and sadly all over my hands. It was really like an episode from a horror movie. At first I thought oh my gosh I must be bleeding (it's not the first time that I have cut myself and not noticed). However, there was so much blood that I thought it had to have been a Halloween prank or something. When I say a lot of blood I mean drippings and thick blood on everything. And I stood there trying to stay calm and not jump to conclusion. I called my coworker over that was closest to me and she automatically grabbed sanitary wipes and helped me clean and wipe everything down.
And there I stood preaching to the old folks how sorry I was that some kid decided to put blood all over things. It is the season.
Something peculiar was going on though. The old couple was not disgusted or shocked or anything of that matter. They didn't want new product or speak to a manager, nothing.
As I was handing their bags to them, my jaw dropped. This old man was profusely spouting blood out of his hand. I said sir are you ok the blood is coming from you. And he nonchalantly says I bleed all the time. And then he proceeded to grab his things and leave.
There I stood, mystified, and covered in old man's blood, and all he had to say was it happens all the time.
Welcome to my awkward life.
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